So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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