Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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