Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
