mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
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