your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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