As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
