He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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