she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
