we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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