My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
