I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
