I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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