I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
