ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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