we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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