just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
