OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I have post one night stand depression
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
