...so i touched it.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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