I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
