you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He felt like a one man threesome
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
