Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
