The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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