Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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