Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
