I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
