call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There's always time for handjobs
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
