we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
