she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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