I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
