the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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