I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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