I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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