I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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