He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
