this beer tastes like vomit already
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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