And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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