So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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