Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
