My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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