my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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