I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
