Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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