he wants to bone in the snuggie
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
