sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
