And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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