Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
