dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
