Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
