If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
where am i from again
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
as a side note pls kill me
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
