this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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