I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
