I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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