and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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