im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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