Someone shit on the floor
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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