no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
