You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I pour the whiskey from now on
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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