i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
