I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
