Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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