cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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