well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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