I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
