I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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