dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize