How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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