I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It's never too late to be topless.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
