just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
