pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
