right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
